I don’t swear. Like ever. But if I were the type to let profanities slip from my lips I can guarantee they would have been flowing 6 days ago as we were in an airplane on our way to New Zealand.
Let me back up a little.
So in January, my husband and I were talking about the new year. You know, the typical “resolutions” and “what do we really want to do” kind of talk that I absolutely adore. When we moved to the tiny town of Eden, Utah six months prior we had talked about building a home the following summer. This summer.
We had fallen in love with the area we were living in. It was beautiful, green, quiet, and full of the most lovely people. The house we were renting was a little quirky but a good fit for our family. Being self-employed we knew it would still be difficult to get a home loan to build our “dream home.” We decided firmly that we would stay another year in the rental we were in.
That was the plan: We were not going to move. Not this year. Not after moving so many times the past couple years. We were ready to just settle for a bit.
Funny how things change.
Something happened in February. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what. The idea of New Zealand came up. It wasn’t the first time. At least once a year we’d dream of moving some place like New Zealand, Costa Rica, or Panama. It was always fun to talk about, but neither Tom and I really believed it would ever happen.
This time, however, we started thinking about all the benefits of going beyond just beautiful landscapes and more temperate weather. We started investigating the schools, the people, the philosophy of work/life balance, letting kids be kids, and more.
You mean my kids can go to school barefoot? Really? That’s awesome!
Since we work from home and our kids are still young we decided to try it out. “We’re going,” we declared.
Then reality hit.
We started asking the hard questions: What we going to do with all our stuff? What would our families think? What about this beautiful place we were already living in? We’d have no friends, no contacts, no… anything.
The more we talked details the more difficult the move seemed. We started feeling deflated by everything that needed to be done.
“This is kind of irresponsible,” we thought. “We can’t go.” The dream was back off.
The next three days were miserable. I’m talking serious lame-sauce. Our home became very contentious. Nobody seemed happy… even the kids were acting up more.
We stopped and recognized the change. When we were firm on going we were really happy. Things felt right. When we decided no to go everything felt just… bad.
We didn’t need to press the issue anymore. We decided to go and would figure out all the details–somehow.
Things fall into place.
As soon as we committed to going, everything fell into place. We started the process pretty early on, but selling our stuff was a breeze. We got our visa. We decided on the area we wanted to stay in New Zealand and then met people from that very place who provided priceless information and contacts. We continued to see our dream align with our reality and it was absolutely amazing.
As the day for departure got closer our friends and family kept asking, “Are you nervous? Are you excited?”
I never felt nervous, but I also never felt really excited. I just felt really good. And our decision to go just felt really right. It was only on the flight to LA that I finally had a moment of WHAT THE HECK ARE WE DOING!?!
Suddenly, in that one instant I found myself fully aware of just how far we were going. For this girl who has never lived outside of the state of Utah, the move to New Zealand is kind of… big.
At that moment I had a little glimpse of just how big it was. My heart jumped.
I still wasn’t really nervous. I just realized that I had no way of preparing for the changes ahead–that our life was about to change. That we had taken a big leap of faith.
So here were are… 6 days into this adventure and already falling in love with the people, place, and lifestyle. We don’t really know why we are here, but we feel very sure that we’re in the right place for our family. At least right now.
And that’s the best feeling of all.